“Materialistic things would never bring me true happiness. So when I finally fell on my knees, and said, “God, You got it. I cannot control nothing in this world” a real joy came leaping out of me. I was so happy to just give it all to God.”
I understood that that was the key all along. It was what my parents told me. It was the stuff I ignored. It was Jesus. It was God. I got it now. It was starting to click and I wasn’t searching anymore. I just had to look at what was already there the whole time.
Why am I so weak? Why am I so dependent? This all happened because I didn’t know who I was in Christ. I didn’t realize that His love for me is rooted deeper than any of my insecurities. We often think that we have to perform to earn God’s love or to make our faith look like someone else’s to appeal to God and for God to love us. Let me just tell you: That is not it at all! God loves me. That’s the best news for me! I didn’t have to earn His love.
A simple invitation has the power to change lives. No matter how hard and fast I tried to run away from God, He kept chasing after me with a relentless love. Before I knew Christ, I constantly feared the judgement of others. I feared failure and I feared truly living. Now that I know who I am, and more importantly, Whose I am, I no longer have a spirit of fear.
I wasn’t running the race I was meant to be racing. I was literally running the race of the world seeking success, money, fame, and recognition, seeking worth from other people…Hebrews 12:1,2 says, ‘Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith.’ When you run that race, you’ve got security. I could have a good race or a bad race and either way I am 100% loved, accepted, and worthy and that will not change. Sport for me is not a performance anymore. It’s now a platform for me to worship.
At UTC, God showed Himself very real and very present. I was able to understand what role He plays in every aspect of life, including my sport. He rearranged preconceived truths about myself, and let me know He accepts me as I am, irrespective of what the world might say.
I grew up in a village called Pease Pottage with my mum, dad, and brother, and as a family, none of us believed or even thought about a God. I didn’t know anything; I’d never been to church, never held a Bible (let alone read one) and if I’m honest I denied any existence, and it didn’t matter what anyone told me. I stood firm in my belief until about a year ago!